Transitions.. a passage from one form, state, style, or place to another..
I am probably in the biggest transition of my life. One of the most important things we have on this planet, next to love, is the power to change. It’s exciting, but also incredibly terrifying. I decided to take a leap and allow anything to happen. Hey NY.
I bring up my music here because for me it’s one of the closest things I have to understanding who I am and what I’m feeling. On the music end, when I listen to the new music I’ve been writing, it almost feels as though I’m letting go of myself. Painful for me to listen. I’ve always felt authentic in my writing, but never have I had to dig less in getting to the core. I’m not sure why, but ok… I’ll do it. I’m trying to listen.
In all honesty, majority of the time it’s not even me. I feel like I’m being driven by something outside of me to do this… still.
To push through closed doors like they’re weightless. To sometimes forget I’m a sister, a daughter and a best friend. I have too much to say.
I have dreams. Sometimes we’re given so many dreams we can’t breath.. if you’re like me, than you know what I mean.
How can you walk away from something that’s apart of you because you’re struggling?
Do you leave someone you care about at their worst of times??
I get so many questions regarding my acting journey. I do audition, I’ve not closed any doors. This past 5 months I’ve been writing songs and enjoying that much more than auditioning. I think there’s light where you’re having fun.
I want to make another record. I have some meetings, maybe they’ll hear.
I can’t play shows in the US.. yet, but I can release music. Which brings me to recently releasing the basement recordings. This was a huge letting go for my brother Brendan and I. We didn’t even flinch. To think only a few years ago we hung on to these songs for dear life! No regrets because their coat tails swung us from Coquitlam BC, to London via NY and LA… we thought it best to finally let them be heard. Also, majority of them had leaked anyway. It’s just something we chose to do.
On that note, it feels like a new chapter. Not just a new page, but a whole chapter.
I’ve always had this comfort with having my ducks in a row.
For the first time in my entire life I have no ducks.
I have a little stout though… Stout: bold, brave, or dauntless: a stout heart; stout fellows. (I like this one)
I do wish things…
I wish the musical journey thus far hadn’t been as messy as it’s been.
That being said, I’d rather make a mess than let someone else do that.